Boy Craft

Sometimes it can be difficult to get boys involved in (and excited about) crafting. Especially when we insist on making 'cute' things that involve glitter and stickers and fluffy bunnies. 
But once in a while, when things go right, there are times when they totally take the craft out of your hands and run amok with it. 


These are some of those times. 


I saw This Post a few weeks ago from Last Minute Mel (don't you LOVE that blog title!... maybe the degree of my love for it is proportional to the 'last-minute-ness' of my own life...sigh) and called the boys over to see how Mel's boys had made the COOLEST Lego ski resort. 


Here's a picture of thiers: 

And I was immediately kicked off the computer so the boys could have a chance to study the above handiwork. About an hour later they called me into the bedroom to see this:

Not quite as fancy, but entirely theirs. It stayed up for about two weeks. 

*********

Then there was the embroidery day. I had been working on improving my (aka acquiring any kind of) embroidery skills, for a while making easy little handkerchiefs  (see This Post), and was completely taken aback one day when the boys declared that they wanted to make some of their own. 

So we sat down and i showed them a few things, and said, go for it. 

They went. 

 This was the result. 

Max wanted his smack in the middle of the hanky, a wonky little happy face. 

I love it to pieces. 

And how cool (and ... well done) is Owen's robot guy. 

Great job.

*******

That one day during spring break when it rained and everyone was going nuts inside the house, I gave the boys a free pass to build a fort right in the middle of the living room. 

They built this.

I was pretty impressed. It was like a mini circus tent, strung up with pulleys and held up with chairs and tables and even stitched together a little bit so there wouldn't be any gaps in the ceiling. 

*******

And who could forget the day of the cups... 

If you missed it, Here's the Link. 

When Max gave us a run-down on how to build a super-cool rocket out of plastic cups,

and Owen built the largest cup-tower ever. 

It's so much fun being mom to some seriously creative boys. And I've learned that, while instruction and step-by-step crafting is good, there are also times when you just need to provide the materials and the occasional suggestion, and let them see what they can do. 

I'm always amazed and impressed. 

What have your kids made on their own that surprised you?

Slips and Snails,

-shawnacy

Family Dinners

So. We're still without a functional camera. (*snarl) 
But, as with so many things we can't do anything about, it looks like I'm just going to have to suck it up and make the most of what I have at hand.


And I've been intending to do this post for a while anyway.






Today's topic: Family Dinners.

which, at our house are actually something more like this:

As you may have gathered from reading one or two posts, we have quite a large family. Large and kind of insanely busy. But we do the very best we can to make dinner time a family event. I sometimes wonder if it's really all that important (especially when they race through their food and ask to be excused about 14 seconds after I'm finally able to sit down...), but time and time again, I've heard from them that dinner time is the best part of their day. And so... I keep it up. Even on those days when all I have time to do is re-heat some leftovers and slap a jug of milk on the table. 


Here are some of the tricks I've crammed up my sleeve to make it both manageable and fun:


## 1. Thoughtful Preparation. 
This does not by any means imply that every meal has to be a Thanksgiving kind of spread, complete with soup course and cut-glass bowls of olives. However, I have learned that a small amount of preparation goes a LONG way. I have made a habit (by sheer force of necessity) of planning out menus a week in advance. I write down the weekly meals on a cute little chalkboard thingy we have hanging in the kitchen, and keep to it... loosely. Switching tuesdays meal to saturday if it's a better fit, or if I'm simply NOT in the mood to roast a duck. (<--- something I have yet to try)

image

(this one is much cuter and fancier than ours) Mostly, it's for my benefit, to remind me WHY in the great big world I bought three packages of frozen spinach, and not one can of tomato sauce. 
Along with the menu preparation, I also have the kids help set the table, and if time allows, create some kind of fun centerpiece. It's hilarious sometimes, the things with which they choose to 'decorate' our table.


## 2. I usually have some topics of conversation picked out.

We run the orbit of the table first, always, to find out everyone's 'high point' of the day (I honestly never cease to be shocked at how often the kids say that 'right now' is the brightest part of their day), but I've found that, sometimes after that, if there isn't some kind of stimulating conversation to ground us all, things can easily crumble into 

'stop kicking me!' 

'I'm not!'

'yes you are, I can FEEL IT!'

... and etc. ad infinitum. 

so. to avoid such algonquin round-table fare, I usually have some kind of conversation game ready at hand. Sometimes we play round-robin story, where one person starts telling a tale, and then breaks off in the middle and the next person takes up the thread. Or any of those alphabet games that start, 'i'm going on a camping trip and i'm taking with me...' 
Lately, though, we've been on a pirate joke kick. This game started with the eye-rollingly pun-ful joke, 'Did you hear about the new pirate movie?... it's rated Arrrr.' (admit it, you just giggled a little.. and THEN rolled your eyes) But this game is super easy for little kids. They just think of any word that contains the phoneme 'ar' in it, and build their own joke around it. 
some good ones from our family this past week have been: 
'what is a pirate's favorite body part? ... his ARRRm'
and, from the slightly older kids: 'what is a pirate's favorite civil war cemetary? ... ARRlington.' 
It's good silly fun, and at least a few rungs above the endless bickering. 
There are tons of products out there that you can buy - like this table topics game - or make - here are some great ideas from rex and regina - to liven up (or maybe just focus) your dinnertime discussions. 

##3. Manners.
I am attempting to instill some primitive kind of politeness in my children. Using silverware, sitting rather than standing at the table, once in a while employing a napkin... to this end, we do a few different things to encourage rudimentary manners. First, those who have managed to get through dinner with a modicum of decency will receive a manners marble (which I talked about a little bit HERE). 

Sometimes, though the thought of a little blue marble just isn't enough to motivate. These are the days we pull out the pennies. I give each person at the table 5 pennies at the beginning of dinner. When they catch someone talking with their mouth full or eating with their fingers, the offender has to pony up one of his or her pennies, giving it to the one who caught them. At the end of dinner, they get to keep however many pennies they have remaining. 


## 4. And lastly, sometimes you gotta break the rules.
Dinner can't always be a thing of white napkins and polite observations about the weather (or pirates...) 
So every once in a while I'll mix it up, and throw everyone a crazy kind of curveball. Like the other day when we played this great little camp game. 
We have 7 people around our table, so I chose seven kitchen utensils - I mean the weird ones, no 'big spoon' business. We had the beaters from the mixer, a whisk, a garlic press, and a lemon squeezer among others. 
I laid out each utensil in the center of the table and had a set of dice ready to go. Each kid got a roll, and whatever number he landed on, that was the utensil he had to use to eat his dinner. (i got the leftover. It was a pair of BBQ tongs.)
It was a mess, and a hoot, and nobody's manners were going to win any awards, but it was a fun, memorable night. And sometimes, I think that's even more important. 




What about you? How do you survive dinnertime?
Whatever your solution, make family time something special tonight.

Violas and Veggies,

-shawnacy

Marble Jars and Positive Discipline

Probably the most puzzling and certainly the most dreaded part of being a parent is discipline. We all hate it. We hate doing it, and we hate that there is a need for us to do it at all. 
But.
Let's be honest. Nobody's kids are perfect (certainly not mine). And from time to time we have to pull them out of the candy drawer, or off their brother, or away from the street...again, and plop them into time-out. It happens.  
Sometimes, when we're really busy or stressed out (or when they have ADHD plus a lot of other things plus a billion brothers and sisters), it seems to happen a LOT. 

I was getting really tired of all of the behavior issues we were having, and of how somehow I had become little more than a warden and a referee. 


So a few years ago, I re-vamped my approach. 


First thing, was to HAVE. A. PLAN. 
For the times when the kids were home, I needed to have something for them to do. There are tons of ideas out there for fun things to do with kids. Many of them don't cost any money and don't really take much on your part but a little bit of planning before hand. I was a teacher for quite a while, but for some reason, the idea of having a 'lesson plan' for our home time never crossed my mind. 
But let me tell you, it has changed things for us. 
All I do really is keep a list of projects, games, activities, books etc. (it's just one of my bookmark files) and add to it as I find things (I add stuff pretty much every day). Then, at night (I try to do this once a week, but sometimes I get behind and do it the night before... works either way) I pick some activities for the week (checking to make sure I have everything I need in the way of any materials) and just plop it into my daily to do list (I use teuxdeux.com.) Here's mine for today and tomorrow. 

THURSDAY

APRIL 14, 2011

• press here book pojcect
• finish red and orange bags
• call abt. gre in lit. when?
• Walking
• post organ to ebay
• groceries
• J- takes the car
• outside time - build a fort
• ch. breast caserole
• write up alchemist thing
• rave on

FRIDAY

APRIL 15, 2011

• Poem project with ink blowing
• LAUNDRY!!
• Walking
• Shrimp pasta
• bike ride
• family night

And that's it. Most days it isn't even anything particularly special. Just going for a walk, or playing outside with water tubs while the boys and I have a game of catch, or having a stack of drawing books from the library on hand when they get home from school with some notebooks and sharpened pencils... that's really all it takes. 
And they have a directed activity that isn't too stressful, and I was relieved of my policemama duties, and we're watching hardly any tv anymore, and everyone has a (mostly) peaceful time at home. 
It was crazy how well it worked. 


and then, Secondly, I came up with the Marble Jars. 

Essentially it's the same kind of thing they have in every elementary school classroom. You know, the kind where you get to put a bean in the jar every time you're caught being good, and, when the jar is full  you all get a pizza party... that kind of thing.


We don't do allowance in the traditional sense here at home, because it seems to devolve quickly into little more than paying your kids to do their chores. Which I think maybe gives them the wrong message. Instead, when they get their chores done for the day, or when they complete their homework without complaining, or have a tidy room at the end of the day, or practice their good manners at dinner - then they are allowed to put a marble into their jar. When their jar is full they are rewarded with something fun of their choosing. Sometimes they choose a toy, other times a trip or outing. And when everyone in the family has filled their marble jars once (or twice... we're working on our fourth filling!) we get to do something special as a family. Last time all the jars were filled, we went to LegoLand. 


So it's really just an incentive program to get them focused more on what they can do that is positive, rather than on how they're going to get punished for NOT doing what they ought. 


Here's what we give marbles for:
Room inspection - just before bed (no punishment if they're not clean... but also no marble.)
Homework - done quickly and cheerfully
Chores - the assigned ones, and any they choose to do on their own (I nearly fell out of my chair the first time Nancy volunteered to scrub the kitchen floor)
Good Manners at the table
Being helpful and kind




So really, that's what it boils down to. Being prepared, and giving them a reason to want to be responsible and kind. 
This has been working really well for us, but I'd love to hear your ideas. How do you keep the peace in your house?

Marbles and Manatees

-shawnacy

quiverfull... what's in a name.

Kick a weasel! 

I recently heard about a movement in the conservative Christian community called ... shockingly... Quiverfull. I chose the name because I do obviously have quite a large family, and because I've always enjoyed the Biblical imagery found in the passage in Psalms that states, "as arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are the children of the youth." Not in the sense of ... flinging our kids around like weapons... necessarily ... but in the sense that a 'mighty man' (or woman) has the ability to direct (to some extent) the trajectory of our children's lives. As parents we shape their personalities, tastes, activities, and aversions, as much as we decided what they are (and are not) exposed to, what they eat, what they talk about, and how they view the world. We fit them into the bowstring of ourselves, and our families, and from there they are able to shoot out into the world. We hope, to become the dazzling, amazing, kind, and creative people that they are. 

I still like the idea. 

But, as I am reading more about the Quiverfull movement (check out the Wikipedia article Here, if you want), I find that there are a few things I don't agree with, and perhaps don't want people to assume of me because of the name... Namely this, copied from the article. 
 It promotes procreation, and sees children as a blessing from God,^[2][3][4] eschewing all forms of birth control, including natural family planning and sterilization.^[5][6] Adherents are known as "quiver full", "full quiver", "quiverfull-minded", or simply "QF" Christians. Some refer to the Quiverfull position as Providentialism,^[7] while other sources have referred to it as a manifestation of natalism.^[8][9] Currently several thousand Christians worldwide identify with this movement.^[5] It began to receive significant attention in the U.S. national press in 2004.

Though I am a Christian, and firmly believe in the inalienable right to a chance at life, I am not anti-contraceptive. I know it may appear that way... given the size of the family I tote around, but believe it or not, I did everything short of surgery to prevent more pregnancies. (finally opting for surgery after the last... because... well, seven is a big enough number even for me.) Which is not to say that any of my kids was unwanted. Unexpected, perhaps, but always anticipated and received with joy. 

Here's my opinion on the matter (...not that you asked, but just to put it out there, since we're on the topic). I do not believe that birth control is unbiblical. Some people believe that using contraceptives is a way to take the control away from God, and that you should leave it to Him to decide how many children you ought to have. I see this as very similar to the thinking that states that it is wrong to go to the doctor or take any kind of medication. Those in this camp believe that God can and will heal, if He chooses. (usually there's also a contingency in there somewhere which tells people that if God DOESN'T heal, it is due to a lack of faith on the part of the sick... which IS unbiblical.) 


Ok, so how are these similar? I see the similarity in that in both situations we have a choice. An option. An opportunity. If you get cancer, or diabetes or you child has a brain tumor, you have within your small measure of control, the option to seek medical help. If you are an adult, who is perhaps uneasy about the possibility of having children, or who knows that it would be financially irresponsible at this time, or that you are simply not ready... you have within your scope of control, the ability to do something to prevent a pregnancy before it happens. (not talking about abortion. abortion as a form of birth control is wrong by anyone's standards) 

As I see it, the ultimate result is still completely in God's hands. Some cancer patients survive, some do not, whether or not they underwent all possible medical treatment. It is still possible to become pregnant while using birth control. Trust me on that one. :) But as much as it is in our power to act, I think we have the responsibility to act in the most prudent and wise way we can. (Understand too, that I intend no disrespect to those who embrace the no birth-control lifestyle. It is very natural and beautiful. I just don't happen to believe it is the ONLY way.)

Some couples marry with the intention of a large family from the beginning. Fantastic! I LOVE big families. But I honestly never thought I would have one. I had/still have huge aspirations of what I would do in the world. For the most part, this didn't include having children. But then I met my amazing stepkids, and knew that they were meant to be in my life. And I was happy with our family. Three kids is a lot for a new wife of 22 to just jump into. I didn't need babies. And then I found myself pregnant. And had a miscarriage. 

And had to watch a tiny life floating in a mess of blood and tissue in my bathroom toilet while I sobbed all night with my head on the sink. I was done. After that I didn't want to get pregnant ever again. I couldn't go through that again. 

I did everything possible to prevent it. And then I missed a few periods. I did my best not to become too attached to the notion of a baby. A task at which I failed miserably. Then Owen was born, healthy and beautiful. And I was hopelessly smitten. I was also done. I had four kids and a full time job teaching high school. 

And then came Max, 14 months later. And I was absolutely done. (are you seeing a pattern here?) We scheduled a tubal, but there was a muck-up with the insurance, and we weren't able to do it. 

And a few years later, Annika came. And I was REALLY absolutely done. This time, a technicality in paperwork was the reason my tubal was cancelled. 

And when I found out I was pregnant with Naomi I thought my head was going to explode.  But it didn't. And despite a really difficult pregnancy, and a lot of weird circumstances, I felt more calm and peaceful and joyfully expectant with her than I had with any of the others. And this time, the tubal went off without a hitch. 

Each time a new child came along, I panicked a little and worried and had a few anxiety attacks about 'how in the WORLD am I going to do this!!!???' and then the baby came. And our home and family and lifestyle stretched to fit the new addition. And I've been forced to get my head out of itself and focus on these unbelievable little people I've been entrusted with. I've had to be resourceful and creative in ways I never thought I could. I've learned patience (or... at least a smidgen more than the 'none-at-all' I had before) and forgiveness and to find the wonder and joy and beauty in each and every moment. Even the yucky ones. 

Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for each of my kids. Disabilities, struggles, attitudes, conflicts and all. 

I know this has been long and heavy and I don't mean to wax controversial (though a little controversy can be good for the blood, and we're all adults here who can appreciate different perspectives, and embrace them with grace); and I'm grateful for those who have read this far. :)

Mostly, I just wanted to let you know that I am not affiliated with the Quiverfull movement going on, and that, if it becomes a big deal, I might end up changing the name. ... boo on me for not researching it first. Lesson learned. 

Let me know what you think, everyone. Had you heard about the Quiverfull thing? Did you assume I was part of it? Do you think a name-change is in order? Did you read all of this? (if  so... merit badge for you! :) 

Thanks for listening.

cupcakes and cartwheels,

-shawnacy